Browning

I know 2 posts in 1 day?!?!?! That must be some sort of record. No? Well it is for me since my attention span is so sort, I have the 1 entry journals to prove it (yes journalS I start a new book evertime, take that rainforest). Anyways we had to put my dog down a month and 3 days ago and I have been so sad about it ever since. I guess it is from never loosing someone close to me, though I read in parenting books that the whole point to having kids and a dog is to teach the kids about dead through the dog dying. I just that doesn't work so well when the dog lives 13 years and your kids are 20 and 21. But I just can't seem to shake the whole not having him around anymore. I ask about will I be with him again, and everyone gives me the whole "well I don't know, I guess, yeah you loved him and maybe you will see him again when you go to Heaven". Well that's alot of pressure, now I have to be good and get all the way to Heaven just to see that smelly dog again. So I haven't done much since he died, I have just cried and felt guilt that I (though it was really a mom and dad and sister and I) chose to put him down. I feel guilty knowing that I was like playing God or something and decided that my best friend just needed to die. Anyways long story short I was sitting doing nothing more than feeling sad when it hit me, why not write a book about your dog. I have been sad thinking that I have started to forget him (like the way his ears were so soft or the way he always drank water and saw fit to wipe his water and drool all over my outfit as I was on my way out the door). The best way I figure to remember him is to write a story, so I have though it still hurts alot and I don't want to share it until my anal retentive self thinks it's perfect (which will happen the day after never!).