All Growed Up

I remember when Kyle and I first moved into our apartment. We were young, I was still a teenager! So our apartment reflected that, we had very little and what we did have was unpleasant student decor. I loved it, right down to the dollar store duck shower curtain that we tapped to our patio door as to have a curtain, though I believe our other windows went curtainless for a year. Slowly something changed, I didn't notice our place changing. We would get a new piece of furniture when an Aunt or Uncle was getting a new set, we built a book shelf for organization of our movies....we never seen it coming. Now we stand in our living room looking around and cannot even see that student decor, no more young couple apartment, just an all growed up apartment. I never noticed the change until our last "move in". We have been here in this apartment since October 1 2006 (yes before we were married, I moved my stuff up with his to save gas but still lived at my parents with like 5 outfits and a mattress until we got married) anyways we have been here that long and I still have yet to move my stuff out of my parents house. I keep thinking I am done then I find yet another room full of my stuff, when will it end? The last time I was at Mamaz house she was redecorating and asked if I could take some stuff back here that was mine, my Royal Albert 16 setting china set..... Now I have struggled with this set forever, Grandma Landon's sister left it to me when she died and I know it is worth ALOT of money and wanted to sell it for the longest time, but could never bring myself to do it. Well Aunt Barb happened to be visiting while I was crying and packing (what I thought at the time was) the last of my stuff. She said if I wanted I could have my Great Grandma Collee's china cabinet that I had been admiring at her house for a while to house my china here since the cabinet that held the china at Mamaz house was hers. So upon setting it up I think rolled Kyle and I over to the adult world. We now have a beautiful china cabinet that houses mainly our nices (that what I call all my nice things, nices) and our china.
On the top shelf we have Ariel and Eric Two Worlds, One Heart Disney Royal Doulton figurine, On the next shelf we have December Gemstone Royal Doulton figurine, and all my little girl figurines,
On the next shelf our wedding stuff, cake topper, cake cutting set, bride/groom flutes, and picture,
On the last shelf we have our "Pirate" collection, Disney Pirates water globe and some skeleton Pirates Kyle got for Christmas.
We are adults with matching furniture and china..... So long young years see you never.

The BeforeThe After

Browning

So Mamaz informed me yesterday, no wait Wednesday, that it had been a year since we put our family dog, Browning, down. I didn't even remember the date, I didn't ever have the heart to put it on my calendar as who would want to remember something as terrible as killing your best friend. To me that's what it was, I was merciless and even though the vet told me it was for the best and it was his time and everything they say to rationalize (Sis Sorely always says "rational" "lies") the putting down of your pet, looking into Browning's eyes I knew I was killing my best friend. He was sad and scared and fought the needle and the vet, but in the end he quietly slipped away. There were weeks of sleepless crying nights, I was guilt ridden. How could I face anyone, Heavenly Father, Jesus even, knowing that I killed my dog. Kyle told me it was ok that at some point in time I would see that it was ok and that Browning still loved me and was just waiting for me on the other side (though I did read that we apparently don't get our animals back as they belong to Heavenly Father, he can expect a fight from me about that one, I want ALL of my animals back.....on second thought he can keep Bridget the love bird). I struggled and lost a lot, especially perspective and faith. It was hard. I was 21. I had NEVER lost someone before. I was an adult dealing with death for the first time (people please buy pets for your kids and teach them about death it is harder as an adult). I couldn't seem to get to that place I was normally in about death, knowing it wasn't forever and that the person was happy and waiting for me on the other side. *this is turning into a long and probably for all you out there boring post* Anyways I had my surgery back in March and I had to be put under, it was so peaceful after the whole being stuck by a needle. I felt good, relaxed, and above all happy. I wanted to grab the Dr that gave me the needle and ask if that is what Browning's last feelings were but I slipped gently and happily asleep. When I woke up I remembered that and all of a sudden gained that little perspective that I needed. He was scared just like me of the needle, but once he got it he was happy, peaceful. He is now in a better place, he is doing everything he could no longer do here, though I am sure he misses his family and his PusPus very much, but that will just mean he will be happier once we are there.

Fringe Deja Vu

So I am a big fan of the show Fringe, it was a new show this past season that I gave a shot because it is made by JJ Abrams. It is an interesting show to say the least dealing with FBI agents in the Fringe Science Division. Whether this division exists and to what extent these sciences have gotten to I do not know, nor care to know. It is just a good show, check it out sometime.

Anyways not to ruin the season finale much for anyone they talked about deja vu. The show presented us with the view that there are several parallel universes in which we are seeing into during a deja vu. Essentially these are world in which you made that "other choice", which I found a bit funny because I had just finished watching a Family Guy that dealt with this as well, but I digress. Anyways it all made sense to me, I mean I have had many deja vu's and there really isn't an explanation as to what they are and I have definitely had no way of seeing these things long ago or of doing these things before. Kyle and I got to talking about how not even religion talks much about these glimpses into parallel universes as the show put them. Then I thought more about what I have seen in them, they seem so small stupid even. I had one last night while watching Criminal Minds and there is no way I could have seen this episode before and there was no real need to see it as deja vu. But what if it is different. We seen what we were going to be like before we came here right? So that we could agree to coming here and being us, so what if we are seeing what we have already seen? What if we watched our lives as a movie before coming here and as to either remind us of that or highlight some event that will be part of a large important part of your life you get these flashes of "your personal movie"? What if we remember them because they are important short moments in our lives. As a child I didn't understand them and I don't really remember having them at all but as I am getting older (22 hahahaha older) I seem to have them more and more frequently. They are huge like a reverberation through me when they happen, and I am VERY aware that it is happening. I have tried many times to fight it, I know EXACTLY what I am or was about to do and I try to stop myself but I am no longer able to do what I want, I am no longer in control, I do exactly what I seen I was going to do even if that means physical harm. You know if you can control not getting hurt you will do anything to stop it, but for whatever reason I can no longer stop what is happening.

Anyways that's my little thought for the day. JPotty often reminds me that we have always been deep thinkers and that Mamaz has always held that back in us. We were never allowed to debate things like time space or deja vu in the house as Mamaz didn't think it was something to dabble in (she just didn't understand). And as for that Criminal Minds deja vu, well we will see what comes of that......

The House of Seven Colors

So I posted these pics on my facebook but I wanted to write a story about them.

First of all my Sesame Street Book Club collection is awesome, Mamaz got it through the mail for me when she found out she was pregnant with me. I can remember that I kept it on the top shelf of my closet as a kid and the only way of getting to it was to stand on my dresser which had to be pushed across the room to the closet so I could get at the stuff Mamaz had up there (I was that bad of a child, now go kiss your kids and love them for not being me because that was part of me being good). Anyways that's where my OCD started I couldn't let any 1 book be in the Big Bird holder for too long so I would spend hours standing there on the dresser deciding how to organize my books and making sure each one got an appropriate amount of time in the holder.

The one that was NEVER in there was The House of Seven Colors. It was my favorite book ever. It came everywhere with me. Every morning we would drive Dad to work in St Kitts and I would carry that along with me since it was so long of a drive I would need a book (like maybe 30mins of driving, felt like forever to me then).

Anyways on one of these FOREVER drives I came to the back of the book (I can remember it like it was yesterday we were on the sky way when I first turned to the back and pondered what it meant till we got to the 405 cut off to go home) I asked Mamaz what a blessing was. As a child we didn't go to church and I think the only thing I knew about religion was first that there was a guy named Jesus and second apparently that story I heard in grade 2 about a baby in the river was from the Bible. So Mamaz in her infinite wisdom told me about how blessings are your family. So I pondered that home and when we got there I got out my trusty pen and started a tally, Mamaz didn't see this I made sure I was in my room with the door closed because I knew not to draw in books! But I did it anyways (see I am bad). Anyways long before knowing much about tally charts and such I just made marks in 5's under L for Landon (Mamaz side) and B for Barton (Dads side). Then I counted them all up and came with 37, I now knew I had 37 blessings. That was so long ago, in a simpler time where I didn't know dollar values and thought that $2.00 was 200 dollars and felt that everything was too expensive and Mamaz and Dad must love me lots to be buying me all this crazy expensive stuff. I often think back to that innocents and my tally chart, now that I am older I know what blessings are a little better, now I can count ones that aren't family. I have friends that I can count as blessings, complete strangers I see at church that I can count as blessings, and small things in my life that I know are blessings (we pay tithing and I have seen the blessings that come from this, in fact as I write about this Kyle has emailed me to say that he now has a new job at work, not more money but better perks! See even bad kids can grow up ok, so take it easy when your kids are bad and think of me I am ok). Anyways back to basics, my family, we have grown alot since that little day of mine (I also count it as a blessing) the Landon side has boomed I guess one could say going from 24 members to 37! I could only be so lucky as my grandparents on that side they have 7 great grandchildren that they are able to see, not many people even see 1. Then on the Barton side, well we have always been a small family but we grew a bit from 13 to 17 (wow this must be old, looking at this I can date it, the year was 1990). No great grandchildren for that side yet, I am the oldest on that side and am also the only one married so yeah I say it will be a while longer! Anyways this is long and I am sure boring to everyone but me, I think of this story and think of how special I must have been. I have so many experiences from my childhood that just wouldn't make sense had I not joined the church and had my Patriarchal Blessing, I know I am special. what other 4 year old would think like me????

Rhubarb Crisp and Becel Pie Crust

So while I was visiting my Grandma Barton the last time I was down in Niagara she gave me a shopping bag full of rhubarb and some recipes to make something nice for Kyle (she remembers that his fav is strawberry rhubarb pie). She also gave me some of her frozen strawberries to help make a pie. So last night Kyle and I made Rhubarb crisp, it is AMAZING. You see I would post a picture but it is gone now....yes we are pigs. Anyways it is simple, and doesn't require much of anything.

Preheat oven to 375, you will need a pan that is about 8x8.

4cups Rhubarb cut into 1" pieces
1cup Sugar
1/4cup Flour
1/2 tsp cinnamon
~Combine and put in pan

1/2cup Water
~Pour over above

1cup Flour
1/2cup Quick Oats
1cup Brown Sugar
1/2cup Melted Butter
~Mix with fork to make crumbly mixture, sprinkle mixture over pan
~Bake 35 mins or until rhubarb is tender.

For pie crust Grandma always uses a Becel Pie Crust recipe, and I must say it is the best of all pie crust. I am very picky about crust and I try to never eat it as it is GROSS but Becel Crust I will always eat.

Becel Pie Crust
~Makes 1 9" pie crust
2cups Flour
1/2tsp Salt
1tsp Sugar
2/3cup Becel
6 to 7 tblsp Ice Water (Grandma says about 1/2cup is that is easier)

With markets coming up I am trying to find some great things to make with fresh fruit and veggies (I am also trying to perfect the flirt technique to get a deal on veggies from male vendors). I have recently been trying, and not hard I might add, to eat better. When ever I get on a we need to eat better kick Kyle seems to buy more snacks....I wasn't complaining when he bought me Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream though (who thinks that stuff is good? I have had better cheap ice cream!). Anyways I just thought that I would share those with you all out there.

My Never Ending Quest

So I am on a never ending quest to make every penny go a little farther. It isn't just the whole recession fear that drives me, I have always been one for a good deal and saving as much money as possible. On the quest of mine I have found quite the list of great blogs and sites that tell you about the best sales and the best coupons and best of all the best freebies. I have gotten quite a few freebies lately in the mail which helps in every part of life (I was even lucky enough to find a site that gave away a free bag of cat food, very expensive at the store for those who don't know). So I was looking over receipts for the year so far for a "little" activity that Kyle has for me and I decided that I would like to know just how much I have saved on groceries. I sat and added as best I could (I wasn't about to start looking at each one closely to find those hidden coupons) and I have saved like $30 this year so far (not counting the coupons for free items which I occasionally use). Add to that the fact that I buy sale items when favorites come on sale I stock up (Delissio pizza is a crazy item we always have to have in the house, one sale we ended up with 10 pizzas in our small freezer). I am doing good if I do say so myself.

Now as for that "little" activity Kyle has for me, it is to build an excel document to see what is cheap where. I have only done Costco so far and a few items at other stores that I happen to have a receipt for but it is taking forever. We were at Costco for 2 hours collecting prices and getting a few bulk items we always seem to need. I guess a little grunt work now will be worth it when we can more efficiently purchase groceries right? The thing that set this all off was I use 3 different face products and the stars aligned last month and I needed all 3 items at once.....$30 later Kyle was none too happy at my facial needs. We bought all of them at Shoppers since I wasn't thinking, I should have gone to the Walmart but oh well. We ended up at Walmart for something else not a week later only to discover all the products that I buy were less than half the price there, Kyle turned into a grizzly bear then.... Anyways this list is also a start to the whole baby thing. Kyle has never been around babies and doesn't know their needs or shopping very well. Upon finding ourselves at Shoppers in the baby aisle Kyle couldn't believe how expensive diapers were. So the chart I am making is very versatile including everything we always buy and things that we have no need for just yet!

If any of you would like a list of my coupon/savings sites let me know and I can post them. Also if you would like a copy of the ever so great shopping chart I can email it once I am done.