Decisions

So I am TERRIBLE at making decisions, like if I could get away with having someone else make all of my decisions I could live happily forever (marriage was a failed attempt to have someone else make decisions, stupid Kyle being wise to my ways....gah). I try my hardest to pray about EVERYTHING in hopes I will get some sort of revelation that will make my decision for me, but I think Heavenly Father knows I do that so I don't often get answers to my desperate attempts to get out of a decision (I don't think He cares much when I do the dishes, or even if I do the dishes). Mamaz bought me a magnet for my fridge just before I got married and it says "I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not sure" (Kyle got one that says I'm not a complete idiot....some parts are missing"). This is like the theme of my life. As out spoken as I can be when I am being ME (more about that in a later post should I be able to decide to write one) I can never ever make a decision. So you might be asking like what kind are we talking about here? Life altering, or everyday? BOTH. I can decide nothing. I almost didn't go to college because I couldn't decide. Marriage was easy, Kyle had to move away and it was either life with him or without him, and it was going to be with him so help me (plus my earlier scam that I mentioned). It used to be I would fear missing the fun or adventure I would have had with the other options but now it is just I can't decide. When I am forced I am usually happy with the outcome but I still hate making a choice. Right now I am trying to decide if I want an I-Touch, I have been going over and over this in my mind for months and still no decision, Kyle wants me to have one since it is so handy but I don't think I need one right now and I don't want to spend the money. Then I am thinking about a clarinet, I loved playing in high school (that is when I chose the song and when to practice) so I would love to get back to it. The thing is if I get one and get disappointed (which is very likely to happen) I will give up and it will be a waste. Plus in deciding I need to choose a classic one or a cool one from ebay that is purple (I mean if I am going to jam out with peeps I need to look cool so maybe the purple, but I don't want to look like a fool playing so maybe classic black), then there is the not wanting to spend money, is it really worth it? I mean God said to develop talents and it seems to be a thing that people learn an instrument (even Kyle has a sax). Then there comes the life altering one, to have a baby or no. That one will probably only get solved if it just suddenly happens that I find myself in that way one month. Then the next big one, a house or no? We have enough for a good down payment but then do I really want a house this young? I am too young to own a house. Then what if something happens that we can't afford it, or what if Kyle needs to move for work? I doubt that will happen but it could there is that small slice of pie.

Maybe this is all because I am not aggressive enough....... those who know ME will disagree, I am far too aggressive many will say.

Maybe no one reads this? Maybe I am too boring? Yeah that's probably it. Maybe I will post about ME or even as ME and then see who reads this by reactions! Yes that will have to be it.