Apparently Magic is Real

Ok so I will admit I watch Criss Angel, and get aggravated because I know magic isn't real I know he isn't really doing that. But what if magic was real. I have a magical power. I wish I could write that I can do something cool, like super hero magic. But alas not so true for me. However I do have a magic power, it is electrical, and I know how I got it too.
So the story starts for this super hero on a planet called Earth, in a small town called Niagara Falls (hahaha small town, yeah right). Anyways I am a very oral person, I learned this while studying child development, apparently I am stuck there in oral purgatory for maybe ever. Anyways so I put things in my mouth or chewed them, I still do so don't ever give me something too small. Back then I had a small tape player, that's right tape not cd or mp3, I took the cord out of the side of it and for some apparently good reason, at the time, I decided that that little end with the 2 holes in it that was very much so still plugged into the wall at the other end was totally suckable. I should probably add here that I was probably about 10 at the time, old enough to know better but still young enough to need to experiment. So I went to town sucking and chewing on the end, and as everyone would know and guess I got the shock of my life. I still remember how it felt, everything went white and I could not see or hear for a while (like maybe 5 minutes). Anyways since then I have had the magic power of simply touching something electrical and completely destroying it. I have never been able to get anything nice since it would just break with a single touch. So that's not really so magical as it is unfortunate right? Well that was only half the power. I can with a single touch fix something that is broken electrically. However as with every magic power there are rules, the only one in this case being that I cannot fix what I myself have broken. Which sucks because that would save me alot of money on my car insurance....no wait that is Gieko. So this power is at time useless and upsetting because well nothing ever lasts. However I write this today as Kyle's printer was left on in a storm that blew the power, so it was gone never to print again. He has worked on it for months with no luck, not even the service team at Epson could bring it back. So he had given up, all was lost as a super hero story would go. Until I sat down and touched it, and wouldn't you know that thing started printing and doing it's job faster and better than before. All in a days work I say. Now I need a super hero name. Kyle also adds that my legend is a legend of legendary proportion. For those out there wondering how in the world I am typing this and not breaking everything, and wondering how I built a computer without any damage, I have this to say, it took all my effort and some precautions (like esd bracelets) for me to touch the items inside the computer. Also not everything was left unharmed, the usb ports were usb1.0 however in completeing and using said ports they are now 2.1 without any possible way of that happening. And if you don't understand that computer talk, neither do I.