Grade 12 English

Ok so in Grade 12 English class there were some stinker marks (I only know because the teacher posted the marks sans names on the wall for us to see, also note that I had a 90% so I wasn't in that stinker mark zone). Anyways she also posted beside it ways to raise our marks, extra credit assignments, plus an essay that was a manditory extra credit project so that some of the stinker grade students could possibly pass. So the topic? "What would you change in the world if you could change 3 things". The following is the essay I handed in.


The question “What would I change in the world if I could change three things” is a very difficult one to answer. I believe that the world is the way it is for a reason, and if I didn’t have to choose I would not change anything. But I do, so I thought about it in a sensible fashion. Most would answer that they would make themselves rich or better mankind some how, but these are irrational thoughts of those with no imagination. So I decided to have some fun and not better myself or society. Three things I would choose to change are; all c’s will now be k’s, all chairs will be aqua marine, and peanut butter would be its own food group.

The usage of the letter c would be stricken because the letter k is a much better letter. If the letter c was replaced with the letter k spelling would become much more interesting. The only instances that c’s will still be used are in Biblical references and any Holy material, including holidays such as Christmas. The second thing I would change is that all chairs will be made to be aqua marine, because all chairs should conform to a mindless standardized way of life. If there be any chairs of any other colour they will be considered evil and will be burned for treason and failure to conform to society. The last thing I would change if I could change anything would be to have peanut butter become its own food group. Peanut butter is overlooked by too many people as being just something that goes on bread with jelly or jam. Peanut butter is the little guy and I like looking out for the little guy. In its new food group glory peanut butter shall become its own entity; it would become an all-powerful food that would take the world by force.

In conclusion the world is fine the way it is and should not be changed for fear of falling into a deep pit of turmoil. As is proof by the entirety of this essay there was a lot of thought put into what I would change but there is no real sense in changing c’s to k’s, making all chairs aqua marine, and peanut butter becoming it’s own food group.


So great hu? Yeah I know, I would have had to be crazy to hand that crap in to an English teacher, but I did indeed hand that in for marking. It paid off too, 120%, got those extra marks for creativity! Thank you cleverness, it sure is working out for me.