Shaving, Spock, and Red Lipstick

So I have a little secret, I don't shave my legs or my armpits very often at all. I reserve it for special occasions or when I know I will have to show my legs in public IE swimming. It is about once a month I shave, unless it is summer which can happen maybe every other week. I am blessed with fair hair so it does not easily show up when it isn't shaved.

This is coming from a convo I had with J-Potty a couple days ago where she asked me if I had known that most girls are cleanly shaved...like EVERYWHERE! I was indeed wise to this trend but don't care much for trends, I mean they are called that and not permanents for a reason! Anyways she was feeling bad for not being one of those girls, but big sister to the rescue with the "don't worry I NEVER shave" pep talk. So the next question was obvious, well then what's with the trend. I could only at that time come up with the answer, porn. I haven't seen much, I mean like other than going to a store and bam some hooch up in my face on the cover of some very humorous DVD, or the very often Internet pop up add. Anyways from what I have seen, and this is not a very well educated or studied topic for me, porn girls are hairless. I think I read a study somewhere that said that since most people watch porn now in formative years, they feel that it is the norm and follow that into many a bad place.

Now I have shaved my legs for Kyle's work Christmas party, I know very festive of me eh? But I can't help but think of how illogical it all is. Now you are probably wondering where the whole Spock thing was going to enter, like at some point did I see some porn movie where shaved ladies were wearing Spock ears or even better were they shaving Spock himself? No. I am a HUGE Star Trek geek and one thing that I have come to love is Spock's logic, Kyle will now often times after I say something pat me on the head and tell me Spock would be proud or that he has never met a real life Vulcan before. Anyways back to the illogic of shaving. As I said I shaved my legs, they are nice and smooth and I will admit I love the feel. However upon stepping out of the bathroom I see what makes me second guess my choice. SNOW. Why would anyone in their right mind shave when it is so cold and snowy out, it is illogical. I mean hair was put on our bodies to help us to keep warm during times of cold. Why would God place it there for us to just shave off at a time when, really, we could use an extra layer. Then I thought, why is there such pressure to shave, and why did it start. There is no real purpose for it, I mean when you are "dating" why should it matter in the least that you are shaved? I mean really biologically your gender opposite is looking for things in you that would tell him you are a viable mate to procreate with, and hair on your legs has little to nothing to do with producing offspring. Quite the opposite one would think, I mean hair on the toes is a sign of good circulation and that is probably something we look for in a mate, so hairy legs could show us exactly how far circulation could be going should you have hair legs.

This also brings me to the point of I hate you people who say that you love your married companion. PUKE. I mean come on, show me some proof. There exactly you can't show me proof of love as it is an emotion which doesn't truly exist. I mean you chose the one you are with based on chemical stimulation and the biological fact that you seen something in them that made you want to procreate with them. I have yet to see dogs or cats fall in love have you? I mean the very thought is ridiculous. I tell Kyle that I love him often times, yes, but we have the understanding that I do not love him. I found him to be a suitable candidate for procreation and companionship. It is easier and shorter to say I love you than for me to tell Kyle that I have a bio-chemical reaction to him manifesting itself in great feelings of tender concern. So yeah you just think about that for a while, I mean we are nothing but animals anyways, it is illogical to think that we are any more capable of knowing love than the dog who craps in our front yard every morning!

Shaving my friends is something that some MAN (meaning mankind, not the gender) created for his own financial gain. I mean come on, give me some proof of the real need to shave. We have evolved since Neanderthal man who was hairier than us, but had little shelter or protection from the elements. We now live in climate controlled places where our hairiness isn't as needful for our survival, but we still have hair. God must have a reason for it being there or else we would have evolved further and be the hairless wonders of porn (and if they are all hairless like I am to believe, what's with the porn mustache? I mean clearly they aren't all well shaven right?).

To you nay sayers out there, leave me a comment and tell me your points, I have no reason to think your view is any less valid than mine. My last point is this, how many of you ladies out there love the rugged look on a guy, you know that sexy 5 o'clock shadow? That means they haven't shaved and we still enjoy it, so why then are there so many guys with NO hair ANYWHERE. I see them in cosmo all the time.

I will leave you with a lesson I learned from my father about makeup, specifically lipstick. He told me that red lipstick was used as a way of getting a mate, as it imitates the way blood rushes to another set of lips and would set off chemicals in the males brain that would tell him that this red lipstick female would mate with him.

Tops Never Stops Saving You More

I grew up with that jingle, as most Americans and boarder Canadians do. I never bothered thinking about Tops savings as I was a kid and none of that mattered to me. But now I am a bargain hunting adult and nothing excites me more than saving. So does Tops really never stop saving me more? Well I was there last weekend, yes black Friday included a pit stop at Tops. Word to the wise breakfast is always at Tops with the best fresh donuts, American too so you know they are bad for you. On a side note lunch is also at Tops, they have AMAZING pizza! Can you tell I haven't had lunch yet? Anyways back to a meaningful post, while I was at Tops I signed up for their Tops Bonus Card, I know Mamaz has had one for years and it just so happened not to be on her that day. Anyways it is so super simple to sign up and it doesn't matter you are Canadian. Anyways you get it right there and start saving that day! Perfect! Beautiful! But Laura you ask, is it worth the hassle of signing my name to yet another card? Well my friend I am glad you asked. Yes, yes it is worth it. I didn't buy much that day, other than I seen Doritos were buy one get one free with a Tops card. However I am now back in my chair and reading all about my new card. What do I see about the card that now is like the best card in my wallet, except for all those gift cards, I see it gets you DOUBLE THE COUPON DISCOUNT. Yes folks with this card you can double your coupon value. LOVE IT. Now I will have to find some good American coupon sites (I know of one so far, Buffalo Moms Like Me). Buy one get one free is good and all Laura, you say, but there is always a limit and I hate that. No my friend, Tops says fill your cart and make yourself and your kids happy. But is it really worth it to shop in the States? My friend Tops sells their turkeys on sale for 29 cents a pound, try to find that at your Food Basics or Sobeys. And they are GOOD turkeys too.

In short why not check out their flyers periodically and see if their savings are worth it for you and then next time you are there pop in and sign up for a card. It is free, what do you have to loose other than a couple minutes filling out a short info sheet? Plus it comes with 3 cards so share with a friend or family member to become their most valued friend.

A couple things you should add to your list even though they may sell it cheaper here?
~Oreo cookies yes they sell them here but the American ones are SO better
~Pizza Goldfish yes friends you will die and go to heaven eating these no longer sold in Canada snacks
~Kraft Dinner the American stuff tastes like the 90's before all these fat kids got all the good stuff banned in Canada
~Land O Lakes hot chocolate you can buy it in big boxes here at Costco but there is more of a selection at Tops and you better believe these are great hot chocolates

Product Review: Bump Its

So a couple weeks ago I had wrote that I had gotten a bump it, and my apparent need to buy as seen on TV items. Well I have had my bump it for about a month now and have used it quite a few times, never once looking like some sort of movie star but I think I need more than a bump it for that. So what do I think? Well I am still unsure about this product. The instructions say to use plenty of hairspray with this, however I am not a hairspray owner or user as I don't like what it does to my hair. So I can only tell you about how it has been for me sans hairspray.

It took my quite some time practicing in front of the mirror to get this down. It isn't as easy as they show it being, however once you get the hang of it it becomes much simpler. Basically I just follow the directions, leaving out any hairspray steps, and have found what I feel is success. I have yet to try the above picture of jut having it in my hair without any sort of pony to keep it in place, however I don't often leave my hair down as it is unruly.

So how do I get it to work. Step 1 - MUST have clean hair. I have found if it isn't within a day of washing my hair it doesn't want to sit right, so clean hair! Step 2 - I usually use the small to bump my bangs back. I have found that you don't want too much hair in this, even though it shows having a larger amount. Too much and the small bump it will be lost. I use snap clips to hold this in place as bobby pins just don't seem to get the job done. Step 3 - cut in and straight up behind ears and brush forward. I know it says to tease hair but I really also don't like that. So I just brush forward to give a bit more volume. Step 4 - place medium bump it along the edge of forward hair. Step 5 - while holding bump it in place toss hair back over it and shift until it completely covers the bump it. Step 6 - hold in place with large bobby pins (I mean like borderline hat pins). Then you can either leave it as is, half back, or put a pony or bun just under the bobby pins. All in all it takes no longer than doing my hair usually does, possibly less time as I don't have to think about a style, just bump and go.

Taking it out is a bit of a pain, I still have Kyle take mine out as he can see the back of my head to make sure it isn't ripping out any hair. The package says to gently remove from hair, but I have never been able to gently remove anything that is tangled in my hair (including that one butterfly I killed in my hair at the Conservatory).

I love this product, well worth the $10-20 you will spend on one (got mine at Walmart to keep with my pattern of as seen on TV but bought at Walmart craze). Each pack comes with a small, medium, and large bump it, and you can choose the hair tone either Light Brown (which I have), Dark Brown, or Blonde (though I see if you order online there is more of a selection).

Christmas Memories

So I was reading the paper and they wanted you to send in your best Christmas memory, I didn't enter it but it got me thinking what is my favorite Christmas memory?

Among the 23ish Christmas's I have had these stand out in memory:

~On Christmas eve Dad deciding to tell my 5 year old cousin that Santa won't be coming as there was a big accident on the 401 and he was dead. And reindeer guts were everywhere, but if you hurried the police were letting you take the meat to eat. Lucky she was used to Uncle Don's "stories" so she shrugged it off.

~I was really into space and such so I had asked for the movie Apollo 13 (so long ago it was a VHS I was asking for) and a Sailor Mercury doll. I get up Christmas morning to find a note and an envelope (no the note was not in the envelope they were separate things). Anyways the note was from Santa explaining how he was unable to make Sailor Mercury dolls that year but maybe next year he would be able to make them. Then the envelope, this also had a small note from Santa in it. The note read; "Laura I was unable to get you your movie, please take this money and buy it yourself. Santa". So all in all I did get presents, or at least the presents the fat lazy man wanted to give me, which weren't what I wanted.

~Mamaz always buys J-Potty and I a gift to share, and then one present each (Santa is the generous one in the present department...though after that last story I doubt anyone would believe me). One particular year the share gift looked mighty small, what could it be? A STAPLER! That's right Mamaz bought us a stapler to share.....needless to say we didn't appreciate that as much as past years gifts. Santa was looking like a real winner then!

~J-Potty needed a new comforter for her bed one year, so when Christmas rolled around guess what she got from Mamaz? Yep a new comforter that matched her room and everything. How would this be a great memory? It is what happened next that cemented it in all our minds. So you can pretty much tell what a comforter is even while wrapped, so J-Potty was already weary to open it, she pulled off the smallest little piece of wrapping, seen it was a new comforter and threw it away crying she did not want a new one she loved her old one. She cried for a while after that and didn't open anymore gifts for a while. She never has been good with change.

~The last on the list is from last Christmas when J-Potty and I were to tired and bored to decorate the tree we wanted so desperately. I think we may have gotten 2 ornaments on the tree each before we laid down and Mamaz got upset that we weren't decorating the tree like we wanted to. So while she was making dinner upstairs J-Potty and I laid on the floor and threw as many ornaments up on to the tree as possible then called nap time. To our shock (and Mamaz as well) the ornaments stayed on the tree....or at least till Onyx climbed up it and knocked the whole thing down.

Product Review - Strap Perfect

OK so this is my second As Seen On TV review, yes I do buy those products so what? Wanna fight about it? Didn't think so. So far I have the Sham WOW, Shed Ender, Pedi Paws, Strap Perfect, and Bump it (will probably be my next product review next week as I have yet to get good use of it). Pretty good collection of TV products!
So today I want to talk about the Strap Perfect, we have all seen the ads on TV promising no more falling straps and increasing your bust a full cup. The pack includes 6 strap perfects (2clear, 2skin, 2black) and a pack of stickies for...ummmm...I don't know what yet (they are the no sew hem making things if you know what I am talking about). I got mine as a gift, but they sell for about $20 and can be purchased at Walmart (and yes I realize that everything I review I buy at Walmart, but it is so convenient can you blame me?). The strap perfect is a small 8 looking piece of plastic that you weave your bra straps through to give a small boost to your bra (no matter how small the bra, it seems I am never able to find that right fit).

So Laura, you ask, does it deliver? My answer yes and no. My straps seem to be in place and don't wander anymore, which is BEAUTIFUL. Nothing worse than looking good and having wandering straps.... The no is for the cup size. I will share that I am a 34A, yeah I know there is like NOTHING THERE (in fact I have been known to go without a bra at all as there is nothing much there to support). I will admit that I do seem to be filling my cup better than without a strap perfect, but I would by no means move myself to a B. They also claim it improves your posture, now I don't know about this but I do seem to walk with back straight and chest out a little more proudly, so maybe that's it.

Now there are some down sides that I didn't see when wanting this product. First I have a real hard time putting it on and taking it off by myself. After all it is a piece of plastic that wraps around your straps at the back, and for whatever reason God made it so we cannot access our own backs. So you may need an assistant till you get the hang of it (to give an idea, I have had this for 2 weeks now and can only get it on alone, I am still struggling with getting it off). Second, because the straps are now a little more tight at the back to ensure no slipping, they cut in a bit on my neck. Not too big a deal I am sure with some rearranging I could end that no problem, though I do notice a bit of a red mark on my skin from the cutting in, but my skin is so fair it marks easily. Third, it does end up pulling the elastic in the bra so you will eventually lose the elasticity in the straps (could also be that I buy the cheap $10 bras at the American Walmart and that I currently only own 1 bra). To keep this from happening I wouldn't use it everyday, unless of course you can afford the nice bras or you can afford to be buying new bras all the time. And lastly I have heard, though not my problem, that it may not fit certain name brand bras (on the list is some models of Victoria's Secret, though as I said I cannot be sure).

So in conclusion I love my strap perfect. I feel it is a great product that mainly delivers what it promises, but who really cares if it only meets some of the promises when it works and you love it right?

Things I Learned In One Small Week

So I spent last week at Mamaz house, the main reason being to help her redo the living room, but there were many other adventures. These are some of the things I learned while there.

~The song "If I Had A Hammer" did not go down the way I expected.
~If the song "He Has The Whole World In His Hands" is sung, I will immediately laugh while thinking of Transformers (specifically Unicron). I know HUGE NERD!
~Crown molding is only nice in other people's houses or when you aren't the one putting it up.
~Diarrhea is only funny if you aren't the one almost doing it in the car.
~General Tao chicken does NOT help diarrhea, in fact it makes it more spicy.
~I will never be able to hear a President say "From this day forward..." without immediately thinking that he is sending out the decree that it is ok to swear as long as you say it while burping.
~I have no clue what my debit card pin number is, no matter how many times I say I think I know it now.
~No matter how clear the instructions Mamaz will always get it wrong and make J-Potty angry.
~Apparently I will let a man with an umbrella hit me as many times as he wants as long as I am listening to my iPod.
~J-Potty and I should NEVER be allowed to hand out Halloween candy since we handed it all out too fast (we aren't suppose to give them two handfuls if they are cute????).
~When I get older I will have money so I can pay someone to reno my house.
~Mamaz will lock you in the van if you aren't fast enough.
~It will almost make Mamaz cry when I buy cereal just to get the Star Trek beam up badge inside (I can't believe my daughter is a trekkie. Uh Mamaz it's trekker, trekkie is a derogatory term).
~Mamaz is a terrible date to bring to the movies, she talks and laughs WAY too loud (except if Twilight is on).
~While shopping Mamaz and J-Potty will pick out "nice outfits" for me to wear for K-Bot (that has so many clasps to do up I would just tell him to look at it in the drawer no way I'm putting that on).
~Apparently I am too big for a 1X-L at Deb clothing....also apparently this makes me angry, who knew?
~When left home for the week, K-Bot will call Sugar "Honey".
~Something that makes me so angry can be used as a joke and now will stand as a ridiculous mark against certain people.
~J-Potty likes space pj for the sole reason of then she can fart in space.
~No matter how much money you bring across the river, you will still need more.
~When J-Potty uses the Blackhead Eraser on me, I will get some in my mouth which will cause me to spit all over the bathroom floor.
~You need more than 1 rope and 2 old bungee cords to hold a couch and love seat in the back of a truck.
~If Mamaz promises Subway, hot tubing, or says she has no money she is lying.

Ok that's enough laughs for all you for one day. These are all based on true events, BELIEVE ME. There was much more that I learned but I shall share some other time.
I will post pics of the reno job when I get some.

Movie Review

So I want to share a movie will all of you out there....and for those of you who aren't Mamaz it is sans puke smell! That is a perk right there, maybe even enough to see the movie? I would hope so! A Muppet Family Christmas original air date December 16th 1987. This movie has been part of my life since the day it aired (ok so I was one and probably unaware of what was going on). I still have the vhs Mamaz made of the original airing, full of pops and clicks and all sorts of funny noises and visual effects vhs tv tapings had (all you who were around "back in the day" know what I am talking about). I watched this movie like stupid, so much so that I am sure it only has 1 more play left in it before it is completely dead.

So what's the big deal you are asking me now? Muppets and Christmas are synonymous by this time, I mean come on that was almost 22 years ago there are new ones out that I am sure have better special effects. I shall say true Muppets and Christmas go hand in hand, and true there are new specials but NONE as good as this one.

Reasons to see this movie

-It contains ALL the Muppet Family, this includes; Sesame Street, The Muppets, Muppet Babies, and Fraggle Rock. How awesome is that, all your daily requirements of Vitamin Muppets in one healthy movie dose!

-It was made in '87 which means all the original voices are still in tact! No off sounding Muppets here.

-Jim Henson is ACTUALLY IN the movie. That's right, much like Santa at the end of the Santa Claus parade Jim Henson steps in at the final moments for movie perfection!

-You get to see all the classic Muppets that seemingly died with Jim; Sam the Eagle(who has been making a come back lately though), Crazy Harry(did somebody say blow it up???BAM), and Beauregard the Janitor.

-It contains the line "I don't care what the turkey says, the dog is not a turkey, the turkey is a turkey you turkey". Hard to argue that eh?

-You should watch it because I triple dog dare you. Yeah you heard me, double stampsies no erasies!

Ok so the last point isn't a real point and has nothing to do with the movie, but since most of you reading this are about my age you know that this now means you need to watch the movie! So what is the movie about? Well Fozzie decides that the Muppets should spend an old fashioned Christmas at the family farmhouse, all without telling his Ma first (ooops! but you know it is going somewhere with this if you know anything about 80's/90's sitcoms). So all the Muppets show up, then, also unannounced, the Sesame Street gang shows up. So where are these Fraggles I tell you about? Well Robin and Kermit go exploring a Fraggle Hole and come across the Fraggles and invite them to join in the family Christmas (Chaos) going on upstairs. All in all a fun family adventure full of music, family, and let face it classic Muppet comedy!

Now where would you find a movie like this, I know you are all dying to see it now so clamour away as I tell you all about how after Jim Henson died his shows were split and sold to different companies and this movie hasn't seen the light of day since (ok there is a dvd copy but it is not the real movie, they chopped that bad boy worse than the Bible). However fear not! We live in the digital information age where nothing is out of our reach, so gather round your nice warm computers and watch it in parts here (1, 2, 3, 4, &5). It is a poor copy, but remember these really only exist on vhs and in the minds of those who see it and love it enough to watch it at least once a month.

Ok so I lie a little, I have a real copy on dvd that you need not know how I got or what I had to do to get it (lets say the story involves the Dutch, that's enough right there!). So go and watch this, share the joy of the past with your children, then maybe pop in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation and laugh with your children through classics such as the squirrel being loose in the house and the cat blowing up under the chair(I think that part counts as a safety video.....).

Snuggie

So I have been sent a link that I checked on and it seems to be real, but too good to be true. When you follow the link you are brought to a store that will offer you a free Snuggie, no catch. I put my info in because why the heck not right? So now I am sharing this with you incase it is real and you want to get in on it before it is finished! It is open to residence of Canada and the U.S.A.

FREE SNUGGIE

Product Review

So I thought that as I buy lots of different things I might write some product reviews for some of you out there. This weeks review is of Clean and Clear's new Blackhead Eraser.

I bought one while "over the river" shopping at Walmart. It was about $20 American, which is apparently the going rate around. You can get $5 off coupons here for Americans (or Canadians shopping in the US of A).

The blackhead eraser is a small handheld vibrating exfoliating cleansing tool. It has a Velcro top that you stick blackhead eraser pads to (replacement pads run about 20 for $5). You run under water quickly and turn the bottom to turn on (1 AA battery included). Now just move over your dampened face (trouble spots especially) in a upwards and outwards motion. When finished just rinse with water and throw out the used pad. Repeat 3 to 4 times a week. The vibrating is supposed to open pores and the pad has medication in it to dissolve blackheads and promote healthy skin and stop blackheads from forming.

Sounds simple, but does it work???

I have had mine for over a week now and can say for me it has. I have had troubles with large pores and blackheads over my cheeks, nose, and chin for what seems like ever now. I have tried other products that have helped but never as nicely and as simply as this product. After washing I enjoyed that tingly fresh clean feeling my face had and how much healthier my skin looked after using this product just once. I have since decided that I would use this product only once a week as part of my facial cleansing routine (more on my routine below for those who have similar facial issues). I highly recommend this product even if you don't have a problem with blackheads, it could just work as a nice exfoliator.

My Facial Care Routine

-Once a week use Clean and Clear Blackhead Eraser

-Twice a day use St Ives Medicated Apricot Scrub

-If face is dry or I have make up on pre-wash with Life Brand facial cleansing cloths (cut in half as a full is too much, couldn't find a pic of the Life Brand Olay works as well but is just expensive)

-Once a week use Biore Deep Cleansing Pore Strip for nose

-Once a week use Queen Helene pore minimizing mint mud mask

-When I feel a pimple coming I use a dab of Garnier Pure Extra Strength SOS Pen to reduce redness and swelling

-When needed I moisturize with Olay Classic Moisturizing Lotion

-Sometimes I also use Olay Refreshing Toner

My Welcome Home Cake

Kyle is oh so creative. Mamaz and J-Potty had quite the laugh.