Marriage Inc. An Email to a Husband

So here is a copy of an actual email I sent K-Bot:


Dear Kyle,

I was thinking about marriage last night, and here is what I came up with. Marriage is like a business merger. When first proposed no one knows how it is going to work, and the change has everyone voting no. Then there are months of finely executed deliberations and compromises. The newly merged company must then find a new location that not only suits the needs of its workers but also allows for growth and development, and is still close to suppliers. Once the companies merge and move into the new location there is that awkward "hey" as workers pass in the halls, pretty much strangers. But after a few business meetings and after hours drinks employees soon find themselves great friends and quickly forget what it was like before the merger when they didn't have these friends in their lives. After a couple years the company is able to asses the outlook of the company and this can go one of three ways.

First, the company can see the merger was a mistake and they are going to need to declare bankruptcy. This being said the assets are divided and everyone walks away, saddened that this was not a fruitful venture and later having to settle for a different placement sometimes even in far away places that require either a commute or a total move of ones life.

Second, much like the first the company can go bankrupt. However this time the employees have so much faith that they are able to liquidate all assets and go without pay and work harder than they ever have before to make the new company work. Sometimes this pays off, other times it makes the employees more resentful. You never can tell with employees is what I always say.

Third, business projections are good. They show steady growth throughout the coming years, though as any economist would point out there will be low points but rebound is always attainable. So the company now decides that it needs to grow some more and move into a nicer building and starts to acquire other small companies to outsource some work to. But you know, just the work that none of the now valued employees who have been there working hard since the beginning want to do.

After many a successful year, the company then closes its doors for good, proud of the success they had and the jobs they did. But they don't just leave everything empty, by now they have acquired many a small companies that will in time grow and merge with other companies and continue the legacy started with just two small companies.

Kindest regards, your co-ceo,

Laura D. Barton-Eady

Celebrity Crushes

*updated with the ages of each celebrity, after seeing some of the ages I am starting to think K-Bot is right in saying that I have a problem.*

So we all have them, so who are mine? Well ladies and gentlemen I am sure you will be surprised. Most girls my age (or most girls) are currently into the whole Edward and Jacob thing which is HIGHLY overrated. Do these people realize that they are in love with characters? I mean I doubt Robert Pattinson (spelled it right, right? I don't care) is really like Edward, you know piggy backing you and climbing trees and creepily watching you while you sleep.... So I am married and I am sure most of you have had the pleasure of meeting K-Bot so you know by now I have odd tastes. So here is my list:

Alec Baldwin (52). He is HOT, something to be said about the grey in his hair. I swoon when I watch 30 Rock. And by swoon I mean I tell K-Bot all the things I would do to Alec and the things I would imagine he would do to me. I have also told him that he may have to raise Alec Baldwin's love child after my trip to New York, which I have already planned on meeting Alec while there.

William Shatner (79). No not young Star Trek William Shatner, but current grey William Shatner. Many a times has he come to my bed in dreams, in which I quite enjoy the talks we have while cuddling.....K-Bot thinks I need help with this. He said it isn't right that I have these dreams and enjoy them.

Robert Downey Jr. (45).Face it as you read Robert you were totally thinking Pattinson, well you are wrong. Who cares about his drug past, kinda makes him and old bad boy. I have many an Iron Man joke for him which makes K-Bot sick when I share.

Matthew Grey Gubler (30). Thus far I have liked them older with some grey, but this one is just in the name. I also have a thing for long hair geekish looking guys. I don't care if he isn't as smart as his character on Criminal Minds he is hot and that hair, LOVE IT!

Jackson Rathbone (25). Finally someone age appropriate! K-Bot is happier with this one, though refers to him as Amanda as he played a man and woman on Criminal Minds. Once again it is the hair and geekish look that gets me here.

Michael Steger (29). Not much to explain here, kinda reminds me of K-Bot.

As for the whole Edward vs Jacob thing, I shall say this; I would love to say team Edward because in reading the book I felt more towards him than Jacob, but when it comes down to whom I would choose as a companion and procreative partner, I would in all reality probably choose Jacob. I say this based on I like K-Bot and he is more like Jacob than Edward. However I like neither so yeah no real point in picking sides, plus they AREN'T REAL!

Goose Egg

So if you are on my messenger list you know that my name on there is D - Kyle's Little Bumpy. I have never explained this, those who were present know the meaning but outside of that I doubt anyone knows the meaning. So let me explain.

When I was a kid I got lots of goose eggs (J-Potty was worse with a constant goose egg in the middle of her forehead and black eyes, we called her a unicorn) I got these goose eggs through learning experience. Mamaz would tell us not to play near the stairs and without fail one or both of us would always end up at the bottom crying. I wonder why it is we wouldn't learn our lesson the first time or the next million times, but all I can think is that with each fall the lesson would get bounced out of our brains. Sounds logical. So eventually I learned to go down the stairs all by myself and NOT on my head, I was now a big girl. The goose egg stage was over.

Well that's what I thought, but love has a way of making you a little clumsy. It was April 2005, K-Bot and I had been together for a year and a half. We were both in college (I was first year and K-Bot was second) and during a break from classes we went to liquidation world around the corner from school. This is where I found the perfect wedding dress.....6 months too early for a proposal and a year and a half too early for the wedding. So why even look? Well my friends it was a bargain, THE BARGAIN. Brand new brand name dress with original price tags (stating that it was over $400) on sale for $30. Yep $30 new. Seems the bridal store had closed down and liquidation world got the gowns and were selling them at a steal of a price. I quickly grabbed the perfect dress ran to the change room and put it on. K-Bot had to step in to finish the zipper, to which there was a small fight about seeing a bride in a wedding dress but that wasn't a very good argument as I was not a bride and he was not a groom. It was a little small, but being a girl and knowing a deal I bought it thinking I could loose weight, I was in the process of loosing it already (when I met K-Bot I was 140 and had quickly started to loose weight, by our wedding 3 years later I was between 90 and 100). So they gave me a nice box to fold my dress in at the register and the rest of the day was spent thinking of a way to tell my parents what I had bought and what I was planning. When I got home I brought the box to my room with a bunch of school stuff, I had finally decided to put it on after dinner and just show them. So after dinner I went to my room and put the dress on. Mamaz and J-Potty were shocked but thought that the dress was pretty. It was too long for a short person like me so as I bent over to pick up the front of the dress I cracked my head off of the back of one of the dining room chairs. Within moments I had a dark red spot in the middle of my forehead and a nice size goose egg. Smooth. K-Bot laughed SO hard, kissed it better and said that I was now going to be his bumpy.

So why post this now? Well the other night I became his bumpy again. He was on the phone with his mother and I decided that I wanted to help make the salad while he lay on the couch. I pushed and pushed the top of the chopper, but alas I was not strong enough. I got it in my head if I jumped on it all quick like I would be able to do it. Well I probably could, had it not been at the end of the counter under the oven hood. I jumped and caught my head right on the corner of the hood. I clasped my hands over the now lump on my hair line and ran for a mirror (I was talking to myself so that I wouldn't think it was so bad), I had a VERY quick look, all the time remembering back to K-Bot's head injury at the trailer and how much blood comes from a cut head, and there was nothing but a big red lump. When he finished on the phone K-Bot asked about all the talking I was doing in the kitchen, to which I told him and he once again laughed. Luckily this lump has decided not to stay long, it is now down but VERY squishy.






So I don't have a very clear picture of me wearing the dress but here is J-Potty with my wedding stuff. I am sure had her fingers not been so big she would be wearing my rings as well....

Makeover!!!

Ok so while down in Niagara for the week not only was I sick (still am, is 2 weeks too long to stay sick???) but I also had to go to the dentist. If you follow me you know that nothing ever goes well for me while visiting the dentist. This time was yet another experience for me....one that left me laughing though so not as bad as previous visits.

So to start off I had a morning appointment for a filling, which I was feeling even sicker needing to go to. Filling = Needle and Needle = Nervousness and later a drugged up Laura. So I go, feeling like I might puke on whoever touches my mouth first, the dentist comes in looks and says it is now 2 cavities. WHAT?!?!?!? How in the world does that happen? Oh well same tooth so not too big of deal. Then comes the mother of all questions, "Do you want a needle or no?". I have a choice?!? I asked if it would hurt and she said that it wouldn't since it wasn't near the root, so I said no. That's right folks, I said no to drugs. I get my filling and skip out of there proclaiming to be even more amazing than I thought and wanting praise for being a big girl.

While there I had asked about having a cap put on my one tooth that didn't descend all the way. This was inspired by Mamaz and J-Potty having caps put on some of their teeth. I asked and was told to come back for a 4 o'clock appointment. Huzzah, I always seem to end up at the dentist same day. I figure I got 1 good appointment I want to run with that, not come back to see what crazy bad things fate has in store for me. So I go back at 4 and sit in the same chair, the dentist walks in and after some jokes about not seeing each other in forever she gets to work. Once again I am asked if I want the needle, and once again given the choice I say no (see I am a poster child for say no to drugs). As the chair is going back the dentist proclaims I am going to get a makeover....I felt so sick! She explains what is going to happen and starts. She started by cutting down my one front tooth I have left that is real, I was sad to see the ridges go (I use them as my comfort when I am nervous, either using them to bite my lip or running my thumb nail across them much to K-Bots distaste). Then she starts the cap for my tooth. As she is cleaning out the area with water she sprays it all over my face! She quickly goes to clean up, but not what you are thinking. Kleenex seems so wasteful in this instance that she uses the blower for your mouth to dry my face, thus causing all the water to blow into my eyes. She apologizes and I say not a problem and she goes back to work. I lay thinking what else could happen, this seems like a hidden camera show. Well I didn't have to wait long for my next makeover accident. As she is smoothing out the cap a piece breaks off and flies into my eye. She didn't notice, and I just lay there now determined to keep my eyes closed as this seems to be hazardous. I was happy that it ended without anymore accidents.

In the end I look so much better, if I do say so myself. I still have the sight in both eyes, I seen the eye doctor yesterday and he said they are perfectly healthy. The best upside? Since my teeth all align now, I can devour my chicken wings better. And really what more could I have asked for in a makeover, also I will never play makeover again I PROMISE! (at least without eye protection!)

For those counting this makes 3 and a half fake teeth for me! Old age here I come!

Niagara Falls Tourism

So as most of you know I am originally from Niagara Falls. I have noticed friends like to vacation there, to me I don't know why as there isn't anything that great there, but while vacationing there they seem to stay in the tourist district. There are 2 things wrong with that; first the price, things are cheaper in Niagara I promise just get out of the tourist area. Second is that there is so much more to do and experience while not sitting in some over priced attraction that while it is neat and all it has been done far too many times. So I decided to make a list of things residents do or see (or in other words school trips!).

Lets start with History. Niagara is FULL of history, we have a war and everything people! The war of 1812, look it up! So that being said here is some history sites:
Brock's Monument - Located in Queenston Heights Park (more on that later), this is a tower of sorts that you are able to climb up (stairs located inside, no need to King Kong that tower!) and from the top you are able to get a view of the Niagara River and surrounding area. This is open May-Labour Day 10am till 5pm.
Laura Secord House - If you know the war of 1812 you know Laura Secord, if not then stop by for a guided tour and some information on a very brave and clearly in shape woman. Open May - Labour Day 11am till 5pm. Admission applies.
Mackenzie Printery - home of rebel printer William Lyon Mackenzie contains 500 years of printing technology. Open May - Labour Day 11am till 4pm. Admission applies.
Fort George - See a fort where the British stayed while fighting the Americans. Open May - October 31 10am till 5pm. Join in after dark for the Fort George Ghost Tours, running May/June Sundays at 8:30pm, July/August Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays at 8:30pm, and September Sundays at 7:30. Admission applies.

Free sites and activities:
Queenston Heights Park - this is a really great place to have a picnic in the summer. Lots of green grass space for playing and eating, pavilions available for those who don't want to sit in the sun all day. Splash pad for kids to play in, some playground equipment as well. An added bonus this park is on one end of the Bruce Trail. This is a great hiking/walking path than leads across St Davids and through to Fireman's Park. This trail is located along the escarpment so you can get some beautiful outlooks of the Niagara area.
Fireworks over the Falls - Ok so this is in the tourist district, but come on you aren't going all that way to NOT see the Falls. No matter how dangerous and boring I may find water falling hundreds of feet to the ground powerful enough to create hydro electric power, you will want to see this. These fireworks are every Friday and Sunday at 10pm starting May 21st, and every Wednesday in July and August.
Hike the Gorge - So you see the Falls, you see it every time but you want something different and a little more close. So my friends head on down the parkway to northern Niagara Falls where you will find a hike path that leads to the stone beach of the whirlpool. This trail is a few hundred stairs (300 and some ought, I counted once), it can be slippery so wear the proper shoes and try to stick to the path as much as possible. This is safe for your kids as long as they listen and understand the danger, I walked it once with a 5 year old cousin just fine. This is not a swimming area, but did I have to tell you that? I mean it is the whirlpool. Also I will not lie those who jump the Falls often times end up here, so maybe scout the waterfront for bodies before letting your kids see the wonders of the whirlpool.
Happy Rolph's - Ask anyone who is from the Niagara Region where they went in the summer and you will hear Happy Rolph's. This is a bird sanctuary and petting zoo. There is hand sanitizer and wash stations near most every animal. There is a park to bring food for a picnic lunch and some playground equipment. In the back of the petting zoo is the 9/11 Memorial Hike Trail that overlooks Lake Ontario. This is located in Saint Catherines. Open May - October 10am till dusk.
Living Water Wayside Chapel - Take a scenic drive or walk down the Niagara Parkway and stop at this chapel, known as the Little White Chapel to residents. This is the perfect place to rest on a walk or to stop and get some cute pictures of the kids in a pint sized chapel.
St John's Conservation Area - Located in Pelham this conservation site has a hiking trail as well as a Rainbow Trout pond. In the summer you can fish the pond, however it is catch and release so no worries about what to do with these fish on vacation. Open April - September 8am till 8pm.

Cheap Attractions:
Port Dalhousie Lakeside Park Carousel - this historic carousel is a MUST on any residents list every summer. Located off a Lake Ontario beach, yes you can swim at this beach, sits this beautiful and inexpensive carousel. Rides will put you back 5cents a person. Open June 8 - September 7 10am till 9pm.
Pick Your Own - Niagara on the Lake is known for its fresh fruits so why not head into the country and find some pick your own farms.

Where to eat:
Basell's Restaurant and Tavern - located just out of the tourist district in downtown Niagara Falls, this small restaurant may not look like much from the sidewalk but what it lacks in style it makes up for in the serving to price ratio. This is an inexpensive place to eat and actually get full. Portion sizes are perfect for the hungry traveller tired of high priced low portioned tourist food.
Somebuddy's - if you love chicken wings, these are the best in town. They serve a variety of "bar food" (IE burgers, pizza, sandwiches, etc). May I suggest an order of medium won tons to go with your meal?
Avondale Dairy Bar - ok so you probably want a meal, but it is summer and this is no time for diets so a must is a trip to the dairy farm (with cows to look at and all!) for some FRESH AND REAL ice cream. Located in Niagara On The Lake, open March 13.

Americas:
Aquarium of Niagara - located in Niagara Falls New York this small aquarium is full of fun, sea creatures, and just a sprinkle of learning! Open year round 9am till 5pm. Free parking, admission applies.

Where to stay:
So as I said earlier the tourist district is expensive and well lets face it money isn't as plentiful as previous years so where can you stay for less? Try Lundy's Lane. This street has plenty of hotels ranging from cheap and creepy (IE near the strip clubs) to middle class (Best Western Carin Croft). You are within minutes of the tourist district still but in the city enough to have eateries that are close and cheap.

Winter:
So you don't want to take a summer trip? You want to see Niagara in the winter? Good choice, there are less tourist to crowd the areas and such beautiful and breath taking sites. Here are some thoughts:
Falls - the mist that comes off the Falls in the winter freezes on the trees and make the most beautiful icing on trees. Bring a camera or you will kick yourself.
Festival of Lights - a free light display that runs down the Niagara Parks and Dufferin Islands area. Features Disney lights for kids and some plain old pretty scene lights. Starts in November and runs till January.
Rockin New Years Party - free concert in Victoria Park across from the Falls. Bands are usually decent, but what is spectacular are the countdown Skylon Tower Bug and the Midnight Fireworks display.
Fireman's Park - this park located in the city has great hills for sledding once they have snow.

The Future

So K-Bot and I have been looking at houses lately, yet another reminder we are not young teenagers anymore. We haven't really decided much yet other than we want one, and it could possibly be a nice small bungalow like my parents. We don't know how many bedrooms we want, and don't even get us started on how many bathrooms.My parents house for a referance (back in 1988 when J-Potty came home from the hospital, hence the decorations).

So the future is almost here (I hate that it always seem JUST out of reach). So what do I think my future looks like? Well I see a nice 3 - 5 bedroom bungalow, with a nice grass yard, completely fenced backyard, a BBQ is a must, 2 kids (not too picky here, I am happy with any combination), Sugar Petals sprawled out over the bed in the dark cranberry painted master bedroom, and a black lab pup named Bocephus (I am picky here, it will be female). K-Bot sees a small dog, but I say it is a black lab. I could possibly settle for a retriever, other colored lab, a brittany spaniel, or an irish setter, but never a small yappy dog.Me and my black lab Ebony Echo. See how happy I am to be a small child and have a dog?

I have decided to re shoot this picture with Gun-Gun, but he is a little too fast for a picture. I think it would make a cute parallel.

New Year, New Meals

So what is the number 1 way to gain 40 pounds in a bit of a hurry? Eat only boxed foods. K-Bot and I have, for the first 3 years of marriage, eaten a whole lot of packaged foods. We shop every week and go down the same aisle and buy the same things, week after week, year after year. However after seeing how much I gained (K-Bot is more sensitive to how much he gained) we both decided this year we would be better about what we eat.
Boxed foods aren't really the issue with me...ok all the issue. I refuse any dairy since it makes me sick (though since buying 1% milk this is getting better). I won't eat vegetables, and as for fruit....well lets say that markets is all the fruit I eat for the year. So my diet is usually meat and snacks, just as any five year old would have it!
So this year we are cutting back the meat, finding things that will get my dairy intake up, and I made a list of fruits and vegetables that if K-Bot was buying I would eat. Our plan is to shop every Saturday for groceries, and Sunday afternoons we will hang out in the kitchen and make some cool new meals. So far it has been great, other than the obvious tears and tantrum the first week out that I didn't get any snacks at the store, which wasn't true K-Bot got lots of fruit for me to eat. I eat 1 salad a day with my dinner, K-Bot eats 1 with lunch and 1 with dinner. As for dinners we wanted to try some new things; so far that is Joe the Shepherd, Homemade Lasagna, and Jose the Shepherd. K-Bot named the Shepard's Pies, isn't that fantastic?

Here are the recipes (though I work like my father, never with a real recipe and always forgetting what I did right last time).

Joe the Shepherd is simply sloppy joe bottom with a layer of corn and mashed potato top

So sloppy joes, easy enough, brown 1 lbs ground beef, add chopped onion, tomato paste (I water mine down a bit, more sloppy and easier to mix), Worcestershire sauce (to taste), chili powder, paprika, black pepper, roasted red pepper and garlic. Now you can stop here and have sloppy joes or you can toss that in a casserole dish and add a good layer of corn and mashed potatoes. Now K-Bot swears my mashed potatoes are the best, I add milk and cheese to make them creamy. I like mozzarella for this but anything can work. I also add chili powder, paprika, black pepper, french fry seasoning (this is the best), chives or green onions, and roasted red pepper and garlic. Mash and toss on top of the corn. Flatten nicely and top with bacon bits, paprika, chili powder, and roasted red pepper and garlic. Warm in oven at 350 for 20 mins.

Jose the Shepherd is taco bottom with a layer of corn and mashed potato top

Brown 1 lbs ground beef, add taco mix as package requires. Toss in casserole dish with layer or corn and mashed potatoes. See instructions above for topping. Warm in oven at 350 for 20 mins.

Lasagna

2 layers of cooked lasagna noodles. Layer of ground beef cooked with onions, chili powder, paprika, black pepper, roasted red pepper and garlic, mozzarella, shake cheese (I forget the name, we always call it stinky cheese), and sauce (I used Hunts Red Pepper and Chili sauce). Layer of lasagna noodles. Layer of ricotta cheese mixed with green onion and spinach (maybe going to add mozzarella to this mix next time). Layer of lasagna noodles, sauce, and top with mozzarella. Warm in oven 30-40 mins at 350. Have to say this tasted better the next day, I think because it had time to sit and stew.

Last night to make Jose the Shepherd, Lasagna, and a salad it took us 2 hours. However we had the mashed potatoes pre-made from last weeks Joe the Shepherd.

Christmas Gifts **forgot to add link

So it is the new year and the holidays are over, diets have begun, and life is starting back to normal. So what did everyone get? This seemed like a small year to me, not many gifts but all quality gifts (in my opinion the way it should be). So here is my list

~ Clarinet, I played for a year but never had my own till now, so excited to start again!

~ Flannel lined Aero hoodie

~ Aero t-shirt

~ 2 hat and scarf sets (white and purple)

~ purple mittens

~ LARGE metal mixing bowl, we needed one SO badly

~ oven mitts, as the last pair met with some BBQ sauce

~ a set of onyx bird candle holders

~ nativity scene that lights up, kinda bothered me how my other one didn't

~ 2010 cat calendar

~ seasons 2, 3, and 4 of Alf, I had bought season 1 a while ago but the others were too expensive

~ 2 sets of slippers

~ 2 tank top and underwear sets

~ rainbow heart housecoat

~ amethyst heart necklace

~ bamboo mixing spoon

~ Japanese cherry reed diffuser

~ orange body wash

~ pj set from la senza, LOVE it so much I never want to take them off

~ serger with all the items I could EVER need for it

~ 2 sets of socks

~ lots of chocolates, candies, gift cards, and money

I might be missing some things but it is so hard to remember a day that seems to fly by in a second after so many months and weeks of planning!

I also was able to get some boxing *week* sales (remember when people weren't lazy and it was only 1 good day of shopping and the deals were worth going out for?)

~ new duvet cover (link), but I guess it is only new if you had an old one, our duvet has been naked on our bed for a year

~ new curtains for the bedroom, going out tomorrow to hopefully find a new rod for them

~ 2 Aero long sleeve t's

~ mascara and cool color socks

~ our ornaments for next Christmas; mine is a phaser gun, circa Star Trek the Original Series, which is already well used. K-Bot got Swedish Chef from the Muppet Show.

As for new years resolutions? We have a few, the usual, change in diet, save more money, make the next decade amazing. We are already planning out the next projects we will do including chair pads and a matching table cloth (getting good use of the serger).

Shaving, Spock, and Red Lipstick

So I have a little secret, I don't shave my legs or my armpits very often at all. I reserve it for special occasions or when I know I will have to show my legs in public IE swimming. It is about once a month I shave, unless it is summer which can happen maybe every other week. I am blessed with fair hair so it does not easily show up when it isn't shaved.

This is coming from a convo I had with J-Potty a couple days ago where she asked me if I had known that most girls are cleanly shaved...like EVERYWHERE! I was indeed wise to this trend but don't care much for trends, I mean they are called that and not permanents for a reason! Anyways she was feeling bad for not being one of those girls, but big sister to the rescue with the "don't worry I NEVER shave" pep talk. So the next question was obvious, well then what's with the trend. I could only at that time come up with the answer, porn. I haven't seen much, I mean like other than going to a store and bam some hooch up in my face on the cover of some very humorous DVD, or the very often Internet pop up add. Anyways from what I have seen, and this is not a very well educated or studied topic for me, porn girls are hairless. I think I read a study somewhere that said that since most people watch porn now in formative years, they feel that it is the norm and follow that into many a bad place.

Now I have shaved my legs for Kyle's work Christmas party, I know very festive of me eh? But I can't help but think of how illogical it all is. Now you are probably wondering where the whole Spock thing was going to enter, like at some point did I see some porn movie where shaved ladies were wearing Spock ears or even better were they shaving Spock himself? No. I am a HUGE Star Trek geek and one thing that I have come to love is Spock's logic, Kyle will now often times after I say something pat me on the head and tell me Spock would be proud or that he has never met a real life Vulcan before. Anyways back to the illogic of shaving. As I said I shaved my legs, they are nice and smooth and I will admit I love the feel. However upon stepping out of the bathroom I see what makes me second guess my choice. SNOW. Why would anyone in their right mind shave when it is so cold and snowy out, it is illogical. I mean hair was put on our bodies to help us to keep warm during times of cold. Why would God place it there for us to just shave off at a time when, really, we could use an extra layer. Then I thought, why is there such pressure to shave, and why did it start. There is no real purpose for it, I mean when you are "dating" why should it matter in the least that you are shaved? I mean really biologically your gender opposite is looking for things in you that would tell him you are a viable mate to procreate with, and hair on your legs has little to nothing to do with producing offspring. Quite the opposite one would think, I mean hair on the toes is a sign of good circulation and that is probably something we look for in a mate, so hairy legs could show us exactly how far circulation could be going should you have hair legs.

This also brings me to the point of I hate you people who say that you love your married companion. PUKE. I mean come on, show me some proof. There exactly you can't show me proof of love as it is an emotion which doesn't truly exist. I mean you chose the one you are with based on chemical stimulation and the biological fact that you seen something in them that made you want to procreate with them. I have yet to see dogs or cats fall in love have you? I mean the very thought is ridiculous. I tell Kyle that I love him often times, yes, but we have the understanding that I do not love him. I found him to be a suitable candidate for procreation and companionship. It is easier and shorter to say I love you than for me to tell Kyle that I have a bio-chemical reaction to him manifesting itself in great feelings of tender concern. So yeah you just think about that for a while, I mean we are nothing but animals anyways, it is illogical to think that we are any more capable of knowing love than the dog who craps in our front yard every morning!

Shaving my friends is something that some MAN (meaning mankind, not the gender) created for his own financial gain. I mean come on, give me some proof of the real need to shave. We have evolved since Neanderthal man who was hairier than us, but had little shelter or protection from the elements. We now live in climate controlled places where our hairiness isn't as needful for our survival, but we still have hair. God must have a reason for it being there or else we would have evolved further and be the hairless wonders of porn (and if they are all hairless like I am to believe, what's with the porn mustache? I mean clearly they aren't all well shaven right?).

To you nay sayers out there, leave me a comment and tell me your points, I have no reason to think your view is any less valid than mine. My last point is this, how many of you ladies out there love the rugged look on a guy, you know that sexy 5 o'clock shadow? That means they haven't shaved and we still enjoy it, so why then are there so many guys with NO hair ANYWHERE. I see them in cosmo all the time.

I will leave you with a lesson I learned from my father about makeup, specifically lipstick. He told me that red lipstick was used as a way of getting a mate, as it imitates the way blood rushes to another set of lips and would set off chemicals in the males brain that would tell him that this red lipstick female would mate with him.

Tops Never Stops Saving You More

I grew up with that jingle, as most Americans and boarder Canadians do. I never bothered thinking about Tops savings as I was a kid and none of that mattered to me. But now I am a bargain hunting adult and nothing excites me more than saving. So does Tops really never stop saving me more? Well I was there last weekend, yes black Friday included a pit stop at Tops. Word to the wise breakfast is always at Tops with the best fresh donuts, American too so you know they are bad for you. On a side note lunch is also at Tops, they have AMAZING pizza! Can you tell I haven't had lunch yet? Anyways back to a meaningful post, while I was at Tops I signed up for their Tops Bonus Card, I know Mamaz has had one for years and it just so happened not to be on her that day. Anyways it is so super simple to sign up and it doesn't matter you are Canadian. Anyways you get it right there and start saving that day! Perfect! Beautiful! But Laura you ask, is it worth the hassle of signing my name to yet another card? Well my friend I am glad you asked. Yes, yes it is worth it. I didn't buy much that day, other than I seen Doritos were buy one get one free with a Tops card. However I am now back in my chair and reading all about my new card. What do I see about the card that now is like the best card in my wallet, except for all those gift cards, I see it gets you DOUBLE THE COUPON DISCOUNT. Yes folks with this card you can double your coupon value. LOVE IT. Now I will have to find some good American coupon sites (I know of one so far, Buffalo Moms Like Me). Buy one get one free is good and all Laura, you say, but there is always a limit and I hate that. No my friend, Tops says fill your cart and make yourself and your kids happy. But is it really worth it to shop in the States? My friend Tops sells their turkeys on sale for 29 cents a pound, try to find that at your Food Basics or Sobeys. And they are GOOD turkeys too.

In short why not check out their flyers periodically and see if their savings are worth it for you and then next time you are there pop in and sign up for a card. It is free, what do you have to loose other than a couple minutes filling out a short info sheet? Plus it comes with 3 cards so share with a friend or family member to become their most valued friend.

A couple things you should add to your list even though they may sell it cheaper here?
~Oreo cookies yes they sell them here but the American ones are SO better
~Pizza Goldfish yes friends you will die and go to heaven eating these no longer sold in Canada snacks
~Kraft Dinner the American stuff tastes like the 90's before all these fat kids got all the good stuff banned in Canada
~Land O Lakes hot chocolate you can buy it in big boxes here at Costco but there is more of a selection at Tops and you better believe these are great hot chocolates